the journey

Ok I am steamed about this one so here goes. They are talking about pumping TRILLIONS of dollars into the GLOBAL ECONOMY! Good grief don't we need to make sure things are good here before we worry about all the other countries. I think it is time for the UNITED STATES of AMERICA to take care of ourselves and not every other country that has its hand out. For vryin out loud the Chinese are not going to keep buying our debt forever! Ok I am done now LOL! Have a great day!

Well I can see it will take time to regain some readers but thats ok I know it was my own fault.

Today all I want to do is ask anyone who reads this to please pray for all the people in flood danger in eastern ND and western Minnesota.

I still have many family and friends out there and they are hurting right now!!

 

Thank you!!

Ok first I want to say I am sorry that I basically vanished from spaces here. I truly miss blogging here everyday. That being said, with the hard times our country is going through now I am going to be reinventing myself so to speak. Those who followed me early on in my blog know that I was into the sobriety thing and now I am not sober. Being not sober does not mean at all that I am out there being a drunk. All it means is that I allow myself to have a drink now and then. My faith is still strong. I am the same same person I was before.

 

But I digress. What prompted me to start blogging again is well .... right now I am listening to our President. He just asked us to sacrifice more during this rough economic time. Well lets do the math shall we? I take home less than $1500/month, and I have a good job in the area where I live. After I pay bills, gas up my truck for the 2 week pay period, buy grocercies, all the normal stuff, I am left with approximately $100 to last 2 weeks til the next payday. When I run out of groceries, I eat Ramen noodles til payday. I can't sacrifice ANY more money in my life. Our government is running the money presses like it is going out of style. The budget that Mr. Obama is proposing is downright scary!! A trillion here ...a trillion there. How many trillions of dollars in the hole are we gonna go before someone says enough is enough?

 

So what I am going to do here from now on is call BS when I think it needs to be called. Remember these are only my opinions and I will always be very respectable of others. I am NOT looking for an arguement just healthy debate. So let me know your thoughts. And oh yea one other thing. I actually like Ramen noodles....just not everyday for a week while I am waitin for payday LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

 

I hope some of my old friends will come back and visit me here from time to time!!

Well it sure has been a long time since I even looked over here. I hope you are all well. My life has taken many twists and turns during the last few months but I am here and that is a good thing. Still in the frozen wastelands of northern Minnesota. It has been a long cold snowy winter here. Work is going along as well as it can. I still have a drink from time to time but it seems as I still keep myself in check. I keep my one year coin on my keychain to remind me not to go to that dark area I used to be in. I guess I have found balance in my life so that helps alot. Well again all my best to everyone. Take care and safe journeys!!

Yep I am still lurking in the shadows here from time to time...LOL! Life here has taken a change for me in the last few months. Things are going well tho. The job is still there with all its wonderfullness and headaches.

Winter has definitely reared it's ugly head and yep I look forward to my first tee off in the spring.

 

I hope all of you are well and Merry Christmas!!

 

Gene

well I got back from my trip......OHHHH the drama!!  I think I will  just stay put here in good old Minnesota for awhile. I have like zero rest and I have to work tonite. My daughter is doing well though so that was good to see.

 

I was thinking on the way home that I am pretty fortuneate to have a decent job. The smart thing would be to not pull up stakes at this time. But I could change my mind tomorrow..LOL!!

 

Well have a good week all I will try to get back to you soon!!

well surprise surprise!!

 

I am back for a brief moment and that must mean things are happening. First let me say I am doing well. My life is going along swimmingly save for the ocassional work strife. Which brings me to why I am writing. This wednesday I am making a trip out to see my daughter at college. While I am there I have scheduled at least one job interveiw with a possibility of a couple more too. I am just testing the waters to see what is out there. I must admit the prospect of moving is a little daunting. But I feel it may be time to move on from here.

 

I hope you are all well and I will try to write more soon.

So since I told you all about what is happening in my life, I have recieved many well wishes and alot of good advice. Thank you all. I find that I really need this blog for many reasons. To vent at times. To put my thoughts down where I can read them and try to understand the things going on in my life. So I will keep on putting myself out here for all my friends to see. Later all and safe journeys.

Hey Gang!! It has been so long since I have posted regularly. I have been searching for some meaning ful way I can post this without sounding like I am looking for pity because I definitely am not. I figure the best way to say it is to just start writing and it will all come out as it should.

 

So here goes...you all know I have been going through some things lately. Relationship problems. That is solved and I am a happily (well sometimes) happy single guy. Issues with work and if I should move to be closer to my daughter Well I am still here in Northern Minnesota so that has not been resolved...yet!

 

The one I want to focus on tonight is probably the one most of you will have the hardest time taking in and wrapping your brain around. I always said I would be as honest as I could here. For the last couple of months, I have been having a couple drinks from time to time. I have not been out drinking my life away by any stretch of the imagination. Just a couple once in awhile. Since I have been doing this I think one thing is very different. I still have that faith in God that I had lost before. I still pray everyday. I just have a really simple prayer. I ask God to keep me safe and healthy and to do his will. I still can do Gods will even if I have a drink from time to time. Somedays I don't know what his will is for me, but I just try to be the same good person I was when I was not drinking. So far it is working.

 

Well I am guessing that I will here from many of you in the coming days and I would hope you will be as honest with me as I was here today.

 

Later all and safe journeys.

Hi gang! I am back for a quick moment. Still as confused as ever about some things but I figure I should be posting mosly because I miss you all. I have been creeping around in the shadows to visit. Anyway....not much happening here. Work still gives me fits from time to time. I have been back out on the golf course though and that has been giving me some happiness and relief from the everyday stress of daily life. I have narrowed down some of my confusion to just plain being lonely. I so want someone in my life who can appreciate who I am and what I can bring to their life. I know it sounds like whining but it's the way I feel. I miss having someone to come home to. I miss having a goal of "US". So hi again all I hope your lies are all humming along great. Talk to you later and as always....safe journeys!

Ok  you all know I have been struggling with a few things lately so until I can sort a few things out, I am going to stop posting for a little while. Call it a sabatical. Don't worry though I won't be far away and I do have many of your email addresses to keep in touch. I just need a little time to not think about what to post here and concentrate on some other things. I will still visit you all when I have a moment, but I just am not going to post here for a time. So thats all I have for now. Take care all I will be stopping by.

Well I finally got some sleep today which was much needed. I guess after awhile the body just gives up and shuts down for awhile. Todays feeling is uneasinss. I am not sure of the future and what it holds for me. It seems I am in a pattern here. I haven't felt too good about things lately. Change can be a good thing sometimes but too much at once can bring about these uneasy feelings. Believe it or not I have even lost interest in golfing lately. I have to get this stuff figured out.

Ok this is going to be a bit of a rant. All I ever try to do these days is be a good guy. I help strangers. I lend a hand where I can. I open doors for ladies. In general I try to do the right thing all the time. Is it really true that nice guys finish last? Do I have to get ruthless to get ahead in this world? I am tellin you I am about this close to just bunchin it and becoming a complete A__HOLE!! Well now that I have your attention...lol!! Work is giving me fits today. I have been begging and begging to get off nights for awhile so I can lead some normal kind of life and I keep on getting denied. Gene is not happy today!!!

hey gang. I am at work and have a couple seconds so here goes. I hop you all had a safe and fun fourth. I spent mine sleeping. I still have 6 nights to go on this stretch and I am already feeling the effects. Each night gets a little more difficult. I can't put my finger on what is wrong but I know my personal life is not what it should be right now. So confusion is the word that best describes my state of mind today. Well duty calls so it's back to work for me. Later all and safe journeys!

Well as the title says I am in between days right now. I am in the middle of the black and the white...the night and the day. Just the kind of day I am having. I am confused about a great many things. It's time to get back to basics. Time to hit my knees and look for some answers. I am sorry to be so cryptic but I really don't feel like getting into it too far yet. Well I think I will go talk to the man for awhile. Later all and safe journeys!!

Hi gang. I am back and sorry for the non posting but I had company this week and it got really busy. We had the Peter Mitchell celebration and yours truly even won some money!! Went to Duluth an did the tourist thing also. Well it's back to work tonight for a 9 night run. Reality sticks it's ugly head right in there. I hope you all are well and I will try to vsit some of you tonight.

Well work is done so Ithought I would get in a post here. I am going to be really busy this weekend so I won't be posting much. Just want to wish you all a good weekend and enjoy whatever it is you are doing. I plan on having a good time. Later all!!

Hey all!! I don't have much today. I talked to my boss and she is going to try and get me fewer night shifts in the future. Good news for me. I am getting a little bit burned out on the nights. Our town has a celebraton every year at this time commemorating the discovery of Taconite in the hills here. For those that don't know taconite is a low grade iron ore that is mined up here and shipped by boat to the steel mills down the great lakes to make ....well steel...LOL!!  Games and activities abound!! Well I have to work so I will see you later!!

Well we lost another well known person in the name of George Carlin this weekend. He had an in your face yet subtle style that I for one just loved. I had the good fortune of seeing him live in North Dakota way back in about 1986. By then his "7 words you can't say on television" had grown to a scroll that was about 25 feet long. Many people thought he was harsh for his time but myself I thought he was hilarious. Keep em laughing up in heaven George!!

It is funny how things change sometimes. A few short days ao I had so many things falling into place in my life and now it seems as if I don't know anything all over again. I do know myself however and I am confident that I will get through all this with flying colors. After a not so good weekend on the smoking front I am hopefully getting myself back on track this week. I had realized yesterday that the 2 days I went without smoking were my days off. Soon as I got back to work, I felt the need to smoke again. So I know my triggers it seems. Ill try to go tonight without smoking. Well I am outta here for now. See you around the blogs!

Well one shift own 6 to go. I am looking forward to this weekend as a great many questions will be answered.  I seem to be bumping into my old AA gang quite a bit lately. Maybe it's a little guilt on my part but I know deep down this was the right decision for me right now. Over the 4th my daughter will be camping not too far from here and I am hoping I can get away to see her for a little while. Hope all your weekends are going well. See ya later.

I have gotten much support from most people in regards to my decision to NOT go to AA any longer. There are a few thatsee it differently but that's ok with me. Bottom line is that I am happy with my decision.

 

In other news, I had a few bouts of irritability yesterday. Luckily I was not around people at the time. It does seem to be getting a little better though. I keep pluggin along without smoking.

 

Back to work tonight for a  night stretch...I hope it goes by quickly.

 

Have a great weekend and safe journeys!!

Well gang, I made it through one whole day without smoking!! Although I am drinking my coffee and wanting one right now, I have none in the apartment so it's all good.

 

I am still off work today.....however.....we have a staff meeting later which would prevent me from actually going anywhere fun. I will go golfing tho.

 

Well I don't really have alot going on right now so I was just basically checking in. I'll stop back later.

Hi Gang. I got off work this morning and took a little nap. I went to the golf course and with the nice day we are having, it was packed. I was going to shoot a round and got to hole 4 and got fed up with waiting. CAN YOU SAY NICOTINE WITHDRAWL??  I was not rude to anyone but I got outta there before I had a chance. I am going to go back for the wednesday night game. I know that is slow so I am prepared. Most of my golf buddies do not smoke so that will help also. Having an issue with a family member that I am trying to work out. Too early to say much at this time. Have a great day all and safe journeys.

Ok I am in a silly mood and if anyone has read Mitch Alboms book will catch the title of this post. I am up early.....very early because one of the meds I am on is keeping me from sleeping well. I know once it gets into my system fully that will calm down. The whole non smoking thing has been hard but I know it is for the greater good that I quit. So I plug along I have good days and bad days but I can say for sure I am down to less than 10 a day. Big change from a pack and a half. I think I am battling the head thing now because physically I am pretty good. My head feels foggy at times I suppose that is normal. Well later all and safe journeys.